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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?